three years ago..
lying on the bed side the vast , seemingly endless pile of books
staring at the ceiling
observing how the fan lazily rotates
slashing the air
wondering where this life might take me
unknown territories to be explored
the entire world to be explored
i'm just young, dazed and confused
wondering what happens next
waiting for life to happen

now..
drinking my life away
smoking away like there is no tomorrow
staring at immovable objects
hoping they could talk back
give me some insight
looking for the unkind future to be kind to me
staring at this dark room
hoping against all hope
someday...
anyday...
maybe tomorrow..
maybe my next life..
eternal sunshine for my damaged soul
i just lay there till sleep triumphs over me

things that are here to stay

rage,fury,frustration,fear,anger,riot,hunger,
they are all here to stay,
stuck up inside me

love,happiness,satisfaction,culmination of my existence,satisfaction fucking satisfaction.
i wish they were here to stay,
maybe they could have made me a better being.

anxiousness, fucking hopelessness, envious living, life that worse than yelling "cherry fucks" to the entire world
tough times are fucking here to stay sadly.
clipping on to me like fucking parasites.

live.let live.follow.perceive.feel.sense.fuck.work.travel.discover .hope.rejoice.drink.give to the world.be yourself.
And hope that its true what they say about karma.

peace

(random thoughts..)


standing alone in this cold winter
looking away as the wind goes by
smoking a cigarette as it was the only joy
where do I go?
where do I begin?
How I got here is what i've
been pondering upon since ages..
life is mystical and absurd..
never makes you happy when you need it the most

inanimate oblivion is what I got..
love and peace long divorced the human race
fear has become like an old friend now..
insecurity is what I finally settled for..
past is like a constant reminder of the doubtful
and unfulfilling present..
future is like this big clouded sky..
that never promises to rain..

Is there hope?
I guess i'll let the wind answer that one..
what do I do?
my head is young, dazed and confused.
but I guess painful silence is all that I deserve..
reminds you of all the wrong that culminated
to this point..
culmination of my very being..
hope to see a better tomorrow
is what i keep on telling myself..
In the end
I Hope I was right.